


It's 5 O'clock Somewhere

by HotaruZala



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 03:59:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2094858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HotaruZala/pseuds/HotaruZala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Hanji comes home wasted from a night out drinking with the guys, Levi embarrasses her by scolding her in front of everyone.  Now seeking revenge for her embarrassment, she is determined to embarrass him by showing everyone, especially Petra; what Humanity's Strongest is like when he's not in control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's 5 O'clock Somewhere

Hanji Zoe now lay in her bed groaning in pain from what seemed like the worst hangover headache she’d ever had…well, part of it was from drinking; the other part had to do with a certain pint-sized pain in the ass who felt the need to chew her out about it in front of everyone. She had gone out with a few of the guys for some drinks and things got a little out of hand when she wanted to try and match Urd Shot for shot. All she remembered afterwards was all of the men in Squad Levi carrying her back to their quarters because she had been too drunk to stand. Levi had laid into them all as soon as they got in the door as Petra stood timidly behind him washing the dinner plates while he was being particularly hard on the megane-wearing woman in front of him. Hanji knew he was laying into her the hardest because she was the eldest female in their quarters and was setting a bad example for anyone who might look up to her. When the captain had finally stopped laying into her, it was only because Petra flashed him a “please calm down” look.

Hanji sat up in her bed and popped a couple of aspirin with a glass of water. She wanted revenge for her embarrassment and suddenly she had a brilliant, yet somewhat awful idea and her smile was now as wide as the Cheshire Cat’s. She eyed the clear bottle of liquid on her desk. It was some very hard core vodka that she’d won from Urd from besting him at shots. She then eyed some tea that Petra had left her all the while still grinning: “Oh my dear captain Levi…I think it’s about time everybody gets to see how you are when you’re not in control.” 

It was now early the nest morning when Hanji came skipping down the hallway grinning impishly. She stopped momentarily to let Petra know that she had prepared the captain’s afternoon tea in her stead as an apology for causing all the ruckus from the night before: “You can tell him you made it if you want, I don’t mind. I only really wanted to apologize to you anyway.” 

Petra smiled sweetly and responded: “Thank you Miss Hanji.” 

The ginger-haired girl then walked out the door to run some daily errands while Hanji chuckled: “I really hate to get her mixed up in all this, but if she’s involved in any way; I’m sure she will be the first person he’ll embarrass himself in front of the most.” The glasses-wearing brunette then made her way out for a beautiful day of playing with her captured titan friends and crossed her fingers in hopes that by the time she returned at noon, she would get to witness an even better show. 

It was now around noontime and Petra entered the quarters only to come face to face with what could only be described as sheer chaos. Everything was a mess and Mikasa and Armin were there helping the rest of the squad try and tidy up the best they could. She put the groceries down on the counter as she exclaimed: “What’s going on here?! Why does this place look like a bomb hit it?!” She looked frantically around the room for her captain, but he was nowhere to be found. Her eyes then suddenly widened and her heart raced nervously as she assumed the worst: “Oh my god…were we robbed?! Did someone attack him?! Is he alright?! Where’s Eren?!” She then heard a clamor in the hallway and a familiar voice say in a slight slur of speech:

"L-leggo of me you little brat…I can walk!" 

The ginger-haired girl’s eyes widened in surprise at what she saw next. Her captain came stumbling into the kitchen, his uniform in complete disarray as he exclaimed almost too happily: “Hey look it’s Petra! Hey Yeager, come say hello to Petra!” The raven-haired captain pushed Eren towards Petra as if he were introducing them to each other for the first time: *Hic* Yo-you can go ahead and say hello to her, but if you touch her ; I’ll kill you. Only I’m allowed to touch her.” 

Petra’s amber eyes were as wide as saucers now and her face was dusted a slight pink: “S-sir…are you drunk?” 

The captain shake his head fervently: “N-no. All I had was a few itty bitty cups of tea today. Do-don’t tell me that tea is bad now. I love tea.” 

She couldn’t help but wonder now if Hanji had something to do with this whole thing as she gently took Levi’s arm, led him into the sitting room, and sat him carefully down on the couch in between Mikasa and a nervous Armin, while Eren sat off to the side on the arm of the couch. Levi glanced from Armin, to Mikasa, to Eren, then to Petra, and finally back to Eren where he declared loudly: “I think it’s pretty fucking awesome that you can turn into a titan! You’re a damn brat, but you’re fucking awesome! I-I wish I could be as tall as you are when you’re a titan cause then I could fight you for your title! Too bad I’d have to kill you though. I kill titans you know. I’m the fucking best at killing titans.” 

Eren replied as politely as he could without bursting into laughter: “A-anything you say sir.” 

Levi then turned to Mikasa and whispered loudly: “S-s-so…did you tell Yeager you wanna see him naked yet?” 

Mikasa and Eren then exchanged embarrassed glances and both turned bright red as Armin chimed in softly: “Maybe we should go.” Just as he was about to get up, he felt the captain’s head resting on his shoulder as he slurred and pointed to Petra: “He-hey Arlert…did you know Petra’s here?” Armin nodded nervously in response as Levi finished: ” S-shhhh! Don’t tell her, but I have a HUGE crush on her. Isn’t she s-s-so fucking pretty?! She’s just so fucking pretty and her ass is amazing.” 

Petra’s face now burned a bright red and poor Armin looked as if he were either going to pass out from embarrassment, or be the captain’s first victim when he finally sobered up. The ginger-haired girl then knelt down and helped the wasted captain up; letting him lean on her like a crutch. She turned to the kids and the rest of the squad: “You guys can go. I can take it from here.” With that, she was now pulling her sloshed captain down the hallway. 

Hanji had come in the back way and was now passing them in the hall and smirking.

Levi lifted his head waved at her as he said loudly: “Heeeey Hanj…how you doin’?!” 

Hanji chuckled and replied playfully: “I’m doin’ fine baby. How you doin’?” 

Before he could answer, Petra felt him slump back over a little more and she knew she had to get him to his room fast. With everything she had, she let him put his full weight on her as she raced past Hanji and to his room where she opened the door with a kick, entered, kicked it shut, and then locked it. It was a relief to her when she found his room to be in good shape at least. She carefully walked him over to his bed and sat him down on it so she could remove his boots and then heard him say:

“He-hey Petra. I wrote you a poem.” 

She chuckled and shook her head: “That’s nice sir.” 

He continued in his unusually cheerful tone: R-roses are red, v-violets are blue, you have a fine ass…a-and…I wanna fuck you.” 

Petra felt her face burn a bright red. She was surprised at how truthful he was like this. The only other time she ever saw him trashed like this was one time after a particularly bad casualty-wise expedition. 

Levi continued: “I-I also wrote you a haiku about another part of your body. Yo-you wanna hear it?” 

Petra’s face continued to burn a bright crimson in embarrassment as she took off his boots and stood up: “N-not right now sir…maybe later.” 

He nodded and then pulled her down to sit next to him as he whispered: “Yo-you looked beautiful in that blue dress the other night.” 

She was now burning red hot, but she didn’t know how seriously she could take him when he was like this: “T-thank you sir.” 

Levi continued his ramble in the same tone: “I-I wa-wanted t-to tell you then, but…but I’m n-not good enough to be with you. I-I’m n-not…I’m bad for you. You’re so fucking gorgeous, a-and I-I’m so short. I-I just want to touch you a-and watch your d-dress end up on my bedroom floor. C-can you just…call me L-Levi?” 

Petra felt her heart skip a beat at his drunken, but truthful confession as she smiled: “You’re always good enough. You’re more than good enough, and you’re just the right size for me.” 

He continued in his soft, serious voice: “Petra…” He lifted his hand up and gently caressed her cheek, using his finger to draw her mouth closer to his: “I-I love you…the MOST.” 

She chuckled, her amber eyes shining brightly: “You know who I love the most?…You…Levi.” 

The raven-haired captain then exclaimed before letting his head fall down onto her lap: “Awwww! Y-you don’t get it!” Just like that, Humanity’s Strongest had fallen asleep there on her lap and he looked very relaxed.

She blushed slightly and giggled as she gently stroked his hair: “I’ll stay here and nap with you…Levi.” 

Way later on that evening, Levi awoke with a titan-sized headache and couldn’t help but feel his face flush at the position he’d woken up in. There he was, his head resting on Petra’s lap and she was tiredly; yet affectionately, stroking his hair. He looked up at her and groaned: “Ugh…what time is it?” 

She chuckled softly as she kept stroking his hair as if he were a pet cat: “It’s the middle of the night Levi. We fell asleep. You were really drunk. I think Hanji spiked your tea.” 

He blushed in embarrassment and grumbled: “Stupid shitty glasses…I’ll…” It was here that he paused and realized that Petra had just called him by his name. He gazed up into her amber orbs and smiled with a huff: “Thank you for taking care of me and making me look a little less fucking pathetic.” The cobalt-eyed captain then found himself closing his eyes and relaxing under her delicate, gentle touch as he practically purred: “Don’t ever stop saying my name…and never, ever stop touching me. It feels so damn good.” 

Petra smiled sweetly and planted a soft, chaste kiss upon his lips: “Anything for you…Levi.”


End file.
